Possibly the funniest e-mail I have ever recieved

Hello again. I have about 7 posts stuck in my drafts folder, waiting to be finished, perfected and then published. For all 14 people (possibly being generous with that estimate) that read this little blog on a regular basis [not just people looking for Matthew McConahay photos, he doesn't live here dammit!!!!] you should enjoy that.

Now then, I'm a college student. Sometimes, college students get a bit slackerish. I'm in the midst of the semestre from hell for a plethora of reasons I won't expound upon here at the moment, so I don't know that it's truly slacking off. However, I have a class called "The History of Vietnam" which is sort of a requirement. Guilt has led colleges to require a room full of white people in southern Georgia to study a group of people that at first glance haven't done anything except not lose a war they were supposed to lose.

So, I signed up for this course because Russian history was deleted from the roster. That I think would have been more interesting and something I had interest in prior to taking the class. The professor is a bit goofy, in a friendly sort of way, and he's obviously knowledgeable on the subject (despite not being Asian), so I thought maybe it would work. And then I missed a class. And another class. And a few more here and there. It didn't seem like that many, or that he seemed to care about attendance, since the class was never full.

Taking us up to 2 days ago, I discovered I had apparantly missed a handout that had a writing assignment on it that was due Wednesday. Shit, that's not good, I'm trying to right the ship here and get everything back on track, I must acquire this paper or this assignment. So I e-mail my professor with a fairly simple note, which I will paste below and edit slightly to protect the innocent:
[Keep in mind, I've missed a few classes.]

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Dr. [History Guy],

If it is at all possible, could you please e-mail me the writing assignment for the Radicalism in Vietnam book? If not, I will be on campus all day tomorrow if there is a conveinent time to meet you in your office to pick up the paper version. Thank you.

CR [Last Name]

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Decently straight forward, to the point. I don't like to waste people's time, especially when they'll be grading me in short order. Now, some time passed and still no response from Dr. History Guy, so I'm quite panicked. I did the only thing I could do, I whined to everyone on the class roster via Facebook about it, in hopes someone would be willing to give me the assignment.

No replies came. I am fucked. Dr. History Guy's office hours are set up at such a time that even if I got ahold of the paper version from him in person, I'd only have like 3 real hours to construct the paper, and most likely would have to consult the book again for exact quotes and stuff to back up my arguements. Plus, he would KNOW I would only have 3 hours, which means he'd probably be looking at my writing with an extra critical eye. I returned to my apartment and signed on to check my mail and Facebook, hoping someone pulled through for me.

A message from Dr. History Guy! Whooo-Hooo!

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Hello Mr. [My Last Name],

Who are you?

Dr. [History Guy]

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Folks, you just can't script this shit. I laughed aloud for probably 15 minutes after I read that.

Guess I should probably go to class a bit more often.

Also, since everyone likes a happy ending, I got replies from 3 people on Facebook telling me to relax because the assignment got pushed back a week, and one person sent me the whole list of questions. Big ups, Facebook people. There still are good people in this world, helping other procrastinators and students having a slump semestre via interweb.

I couldn't be more confused...

Ok. I was doing some spring-ish cleaning on my computer.

I was cleaning out my favourites list, which my friend D'Lo one time loudly exclaimed "That's the most fucking ridiculous favourites list ever!" Because of its voluminous nature, it's taken me a while to really buckle down and clean it out. Links to things that don't work anymore, stories that have been moved, and then this, which just... I defy someone to define it.

http://members.aol.com/krasotka2003/page1.html

I think all the numbers in my head went up by one after looking at that.

You know, I flipped a coin on whether to teach English or History at the high school level, and though the reading is pretty brutal for a history major, something tells me at the end I can smile because I won't have to worry about having a class full of people that write in this style of language.

I mean, everything's there, the RaNdOm capitialization of words, the poor spelling of words "likeing", substituting words with letters "R U going 2 B my man?", the graphic depicitions of those girl doll things that probably all need a trip to the free clinic on the wrong side of the tracks, and the broken RealMedia link to an Eminem song.

I have no idea who this girl is, nor how old she was when she made it, but damn. I must have had some reason for bookmarking it at the time, because I look at it now and can't help but weep for the future. OMG! tats Sooooooo cRaZy!

As much as I hate it...

I have a sinking feeling that the Seahawks are going to fly in under the radar and beat the Steelers. All of the talk, and I mean ALL of the talk thus far has been about "One for the Thumb" and "One for the Bus" and "One for the money" and all that happy horsehonk. The colour of jerseys the Steelers chose to wore was made an issue of, and immediately prompted controversy and interviews on the subject. Jerome Bettis, a rather likeable character, is from Detroit, and he was a poor nerdy linebacker when he was young. He needs a Super Bowl to put a final stamp on his Hall of Fame ticket.

Ok, so... I dislike Mike Holmgren, I'm not a huge fan of that Hasselbeck character, and just.. ugg, what else can be said about Qwest Field? It's goofy looking, ok?

My family is solidly in the Steelers corner, and it would make my dad, my aunt, my uncle and my grandfather quite happy individuals, and they're already clammoring about how much fun it would be if it goes down right for them.

I say again, I don't like the fact that they could potentially win, what with their uniforms that fail to be a recognizeable colour (I mean, what are they? Cerulean and Diet Neon Green?) and the underdog title, but I have a serious premonition that the Seattle Seahawks will win Super Bowl 40.

And that pisses me off. Again, on the upside, Rolling Stones at halftime.